atthebeginning

you see... i once heard of a little something called fate.



you see... i don't believe it.



why?



because i believe we can change our own destiny. (taken the corny line out from some corny movie)



you see... i'd like to rephrase the words to make it sound more... refined & less musty.



To be blatantly and brutally honest, i'm in a fix... the in-the-deep-and-dark-pit-that-never-but-hopefully-has-a-bottom kind of dilemma. It's ferally real. Too damn real.



you see... The love of my life (YES, I KNOW I'M NOT DATING ANYONE!) had been admitted into ttsh on friday the 13th. Yes, I repeat... friday the 13th. I never thought any fridays or 13th's were intimidating but now... I have to take back everything I said. If I had been blogging about this a week ago or so, I'd be in an even fouler mood. To be very precise, I was and am still very down and taken aback about the incident... My grandmother did not deserve to have her right arm and leg taken away from her. What I mean by 'taken' is that she had a sudden attack of stroke (first-time) that nearly destroyed the people around her. Especially those who love her the most. I'm proud to say that its not possible that somebody else near home loves her as much as I do. Not to say that everybody else loves her less... It's just... I know that I love her more. She's kinda... my cornerstone ya know? Without her solid foundation and her loving grandmotherly strength... where would I be? Some might say it ain't fair... but darn right it is fair! I don't care if I don't have my daddy's care... as long as I can keep hers for life.

My mum and dad are going to a touch phase... that begun 25 years ago and it is still unresolved as I type... What they lost cannot be recovered back again. I can only pray that time will teach 'em to forgive each other. I won't be seeing much of my dad anymore from now on.

They say that we can cross our enemy but we can never cross our friends. They have the power to hurt you more so then you think. It's a real loss... that I have to take. You might turn out distrustful or become a greater cynic. (both really)

Move on sweet-cheeks. Move on.