Been playing sims the whole dayy... went back to school for 'bout an hour... doing useless stuff (like taking a 45 minute mrt train ride to school just to hand in a piece of paper... N' IT AIN'T AN ASSIGNMENT!!!)
How productive.
Sigh... I've been thinking (anything else new?).
I kinda lost my sense of direction... it's effin' obvious to some of my friends... (i think). Well, its apparent to me that I forgot what I wanna' do... with my life. I was/am a little greedy piggie... I want everything. (just... everything I wanted as a kiddie). I did think of writing a book someday... but I wanted to do something that's soo personal. Why? To make up for all the times I dis-engaged myself from all the people of the world... (EVERY BOY EVERY GIRL!) crap... shit. I have snippets of my crappy junk.... (hey! it's only ok if i say it! PUNKKK!!!) somewhere in here... in my pc... in my black notebook... in my head. Inside my lovely lovely head. I don't plan to pursue anything that has gotta' do with music... or... mainstream music. I don't want to make music... It's not my place :) (IT'S YOUR TIME TO SHINE... SWEETHEARTS!!! <3) I wanna' enjoy music all my life... that will make me all fuzzy on the inside... I tried looking for a job as a voice actress before... but all I got was... jobs that gotta' do with animation voicing... not that i mind... but it didn't last (the company and me). I wanted out. Or at least I thought I did. I'm gonna' continue school... study... attend my music lessons... dream... and replay Michael Learns to Rock 'till I drop dead. Maybe I'll give acting another go... unlikely my friend. I shouldn't want to go down that road again. It's too... (Li Min says that I'm one of the unlucky ones... I thought I was just... not there yet.)
I will be someday.
My luck is just gonna' have to kiss my ass ;)
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Friday, September 4, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
To You, from me
To Fiona:
I just read the latest blog entries of my dear friend Fiona and I want her to know that I hear her. And that I can see her. I miss her very much and I want her to know that I will always think of her when I'm out with my school mates, when I'm home alone, when I forget how to turn on the gas to make maggie noodles, when I meet new people and when I am simply on a long ride to anywhere and everywhere. I want her to know that I can feel her presence... it seems that we were never apart to begin with. Although she cannot see the great impact she has on the people who knows her and/or the people who will eventually meet her in the later part of her most treasured life. She will empathize with you, stay with you, listen to you, care for you and she will even bleed for you. Her hands are her heart and soul; they are her prized instruments. Her heart is filled with sorrow and wisdom enough to create a whole new place where your unrequited love is returned, where your heart will find peace, where your body is rested and where your imagined dreams liberate the field. A place where her words become alive. She is one who will not think much of herself... but that makes her person more deep and passionate than anyone else who thinks otherwise. I love her for what she is worth, for she is worth every dime you have, every grace you willingly give and every noble cause you partake in. Her heart can only see so much... so much that there are no limits to her kindness.
To Jasmin:
Thank you for talking me over the phone when I was in starbucks sipping my caramel freppe with all those who are 'well-off' next to me. Please understand that I want you to be there when I'm at my happiest - when i'm with you, Fio and my family my kazuku... my beautiful bunch of screw-ups and hot shot's... you are the real deal. real people of this world. I am afraid to say goodbye to you when I see you in church, in school and when I'm out with you. Confiding in you has been soo enduring for you are one heck of a listener. It's obvious that you love us. Know that I can never get an equation right if you're not around. Know that I will miss you everytime I see a girl who resembles you - your long dark hair and slim limbs... I know for sure that you will always look like a million dollars and that they can never be you. Out of all of us... you have it best. You will be fortunate for life cuz' I will fight for you, your sanctuary and your joy. Thank goodness that I see you once a week or I will probably lose my sanity. You are meant for great things and you have a great prospect. Great is too mild a word... but if I can describe you with one word I'd use: Blessed. I'm glad that you have the strength to take us all as your close loved babies... because we need a person who is calm and concerned... in contrast to the likes of us - fragile pieces. You are capable, trustworthy, reliable and a wonderful friend. You can do whatever you set your mind to and nobody has a doubt 'bout that.
I just read the latest blog entries of my dear friend Fiona and I want her to know that I hear her. And that I can see her. I miss her very much and I want her to know that I will always think of her when I'm out with my school mates, when I'm home alone, when I forget how to turn on the gas to make maggie noodles, when I meet new people and when I am simply on a long ride to anywhere and everywhere. I want her to know that I can feel her presence... it seems that we were never apart to begin with. Although she cannot see the great impact she has on the people who knows her and/or the people who will eventually meet her in the later part of her most treasured life. She will empathize with you, stay with you, listen to you, care for you and she will even bleed for you. Her hands are her heart and soul; they are her prized instruments. Her heart is filled with sorrow and wisdom enough to create a whole new place where your unrequited love is returned, where your heart will find peace, where your body is rested and where your imagined dreams liberate the field. A place where her words become alive. She is one who will not think much of herself... but that makes her person more deep and passionate than anyone else who thinks otherwise. I love her for what she is worth, for she is worth every dime you have, every grace you willingly give and every noble cause you partake in. Her heart can only see so much... so much that there are no limits to her kindness.
To Jasmin:
Thank you for talking me over the phone when I was in starbucks sipping my caramel freppe with all those who are 'well-off' next to me. Please understand that I want you to be there when I'm at my happiest - when i'm with you, Fio and my family my kazuku... my beautiful bunch of screw-ups and hot shot's... you are the real deal. real people of this world. I am afraid to say goodbye to you when I see you in church, in school and when I'm out with you. Confiding in you has been soo enduring for you are one heck of a listener. It's obvious that you love us. Know that I can never get an equation right if you're not around. Know that I will miss you everytime I see a girl who resembles you - your long dark hair and slim limbs... I know for sure that you will always look like a million dollars and that they can never be you. Out of all of us... you have it best. You will be fortunate for life cuz' I will fight for you, your sanctuary and your joy. Thank goodness that I see you once a week or I will probably lose my sanity. You are meant for great things and you have a great prospect. Great is too mild a word... but if I can describe you with one word I'd use: Blessed. I'm glad that you have the strength to take us all as your close loved babies... because we need a person who is calm and concerned... in contrast to the likes of us - fragile pieces. You are capable, trustworthy, reliable and a wonderful friend. You can do whatever you set your mind to and nobody has a doubt 'bout that.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
lit girls....
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
when everyone's asleep
dear juanita comes out to play...
nicely.
i look like a new yorker... that has just woken up from a 3 hour sleep with make-up on - smeared lips, smudged eyeliner - whose high on drugs. More like high on dust. There are food crumbs below the beds, hair strands that belong to an unknown entity and the blanket smells like feet! Or vomit... what Joey said. This place is crawling with ants! They didn't make it to the unused stack of cup noodles.
Tough luck.
we spent most of our time in the chalet... no escape... no www... (i'm talkin' bout the wild wild wet dog!) i watched a gay movie... made coke float... woke up early to get breakfast for the dudettes... walked in and out of the washroom relentlessly... spent at least 5 minutes staring at my reflection from the mirror... found out more about my friends and myself - via funny chats and online personality quizzes that popped out in little boxes from my laptop screen... checked the time in every few hours only to suspect that someone has been messing with the clock... that's gotta' be it. Time can't pass so fast.
miss Gayane says that she doesn't meet many girls who read literature or Shakespeare.
I'll do anything for you ma'm.
nicely.
i look like a new yorker... that has just woken up from a 3 hour sleep with make-up on - smeared lips, smudged eyeliner - whose high on drugs. More like high on dust. There are food crumbs below the beds, hair strands that belong to an unknown entity and the blanket smells like feet! Or vomit... what Joey said. This place is crawling with ants! They didn't make it to the unused stack of cup noodles.
Tough luck.
we spent most of our time in the chalet... no escape... no www... (i'm talkin' bout the wild wild wet dog!) i watched a gay movie... made coke float... woke up early to get breakfast for the dudettes... walked in and out of the washroom relentlessly... spent at least 5 minutes staring at my reflection from the mirror... found out more about my friends and myself - via funny chats and online personality quizzes that popped out in little boxes from my laptop screen... checked the time in every few hours only to suspect that someone has been messing with the clock... that's gotta' be it. Time can't pass so fast.
miss Gayane says that she doesn't meet many girls who read literature or Shakespeare.
I'll do anything for you ma'm.
Monday, May 18, 2009
safe in a crazy world
juanita: sleep or work?
no more meds PUH-LEASE
this is what my house looks like when its dark...
its true what they say, cancer's adore dark dungeons...
then again i can't tell how much of it is reflected on me since im a july cancer... if i was born any later i'd be a full-blown leo
LEO WOMAN
no more meds PUH-LEASE
this is what my house looks like when its dark...its true what they say, cancer's adore dark dungeons...
then again i can't tell how much of it is reflected on me since im a july cancer... if i was born any later i'd be a full-blown leo
LEO WOMAN
i've got a whole lotta' things on my mind... typical...
had a pretty good weekend and monday (i'm on mc btw)
went to the beach in the morning with dadp... felt that i could have stayed on... maybe. im so beat i can't even type in full sentences. i forgot to capitalise my words..... i duno if i'm just plain lazy or it i actually enjoy typing without clicking the shift key ever so often.
had a talk with li min at macs that afternoon... it seems that we are not so different. she feels this way... i feel that way... she knows i feel that way & i know why she feels this way... its a never ending cycle of figuring out what goes on in our heads... you'll discover that its quite one-tracked in a way... we are not sanguine people.
you keep me flying
you keep me smiling
you keep me safe in a crazy world
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I AM IN SCHOOL...not
pics... pics... sorry i ain't got pics ;)
i ain't got no facebook nooo~
(one day later...)
O_O it seems that after i got my lappy i can't blog right on my home pc anymore. That sounds kinda crappy.
I took some random pictures after I got back home from a dinner-movie date with Hema, Fio, Jas, Janice and Joey. haha... What a movie... Oh dear... I can't seem to neaten up my hair.
My ma is worried that I might change when I enter poly. What 'changed' so far is that I can no longer study literature... I can still read the texts of course but it's not the same. My attitude towards strangers and my approach to 'em is ten times more open than before. It's a wonderful thought... knowing that it does not take too much to make new friends. I always thought that love was a one-way affair... The more I gave the less I got oh yeah...
It still applies sometimes hmm?
haha.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
friendship is amazing
Have you ever said something and regret immediately after? That happened to me all week... I duno if that's a feeble attempt to try to get closer to someone of if its just me seeking attention... I get this crazy notion that if I actually share a bit of my feelings with somebody else, they'd get taste a bit of my life as well. (see what i mean when i say i can be selfish??)
Thing is... now that you know... why don't you laugh?
Why don't you take this opportunity to stand tall and proud with your fingers pointing accusingly at my direction.... jeering.
You don't mind me displaying a portion of my vulnerable spirit?
And you look upon me with that amazing smile of yours to say... It's ok. Everything will turn out fine.
You hold me tight.
Baby, you love me that much?
Thing is... now that you know... why don't you laugh?
Why don't you take this opportunity to stand tall and proud with your fingers pointing accusingly at my direction.... jeering.
You don't mind me displaying a portion of my vulnerable spirit?
And you look upon me with that amazing smile of yours to say... It's ok. Everything will turn out fine.
You hold me tight.
Baby, you love me that much?
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